First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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