This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
