I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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