Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
