super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
