So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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