Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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