the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
