We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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