In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
