We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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