Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
