Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize