Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
