i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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