Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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