we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just got carded by a ten year old.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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