I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
