he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
