some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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