I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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