Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
