I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
