maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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