My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
