I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
