so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
