i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
