Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
