if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
