Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I need moral support for this bender
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
