Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!

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  (301): Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!! http://tfl.nu/rxuv
  Replies (9) Good night (1019) Bad night (680)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  either way. win, win.

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  (810): My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches. (1-810): either way. win, win. http://tfl.nu/dnjj
  Replies (37) Good night (3261) Bad night (583)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw

  (281): View more from Texas

  I love Texas.

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  (832): Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw (281): I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/eppv
  Replies (48) Good night (3933) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back

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  (617): but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back http://tfl.nu/ogq4
  Replies (30) Good night (924) Bad night (2252)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.

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  (207): life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony. http://tfl.nu/6vet
  Replies (18) Good night (940) Bad night (2696)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring

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  (845): I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring http://tfl.nu/cvji
  Replies (16) Good night (680) Bad night (4810)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??

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  (520): just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon?? http://tfl.nu/c1fp
  Replies (33) Good night (10623) Bad night (1005)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.

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  (541): The seats are awesome but you see two of each player. http://tfl.nu/6r36
  Replies (12) Good night (2855) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.

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  (540): Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh. http://tfl.nu/suhk
  Replies (15) Good night (5976) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?

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  (858): Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently? http://tfl.nu/merx
  Replies (7) Good night (3417) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.

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  (845): At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep. http://tfl.nu/7ean
  Replies (2) Good night (2144) Bad night (741)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"

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  (949): You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this" http://tfl.nu/ckz0
  Replies (6) Good night (1193) Bad night (1834)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.

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  (310): I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too. http://tfl.nu/waf5
  Replies (2) Good night (1306) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility

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  (209): So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility http://tfl.nu/15q1
  Replies (7) Good night (1458) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.

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  (781): We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes. http://tfl.nu/atoq
  Replies (1) Good night (586) Bad night (275)

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