I hate ducks.
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Help me help you realize you are a moron