So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
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Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
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No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.