Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
