So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.