it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes