He kissed a someone with a penis
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
