i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize