a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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