no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
