So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
