8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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