I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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