The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
