I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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