The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize