she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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