Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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