I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
