I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
