The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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