it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
