Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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