I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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