it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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