Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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