oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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