so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize