Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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