I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize