Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
