oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
