Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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