OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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