i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
