Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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