there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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