I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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